


to be hopeless or not to be

by lilaclavenders



Series: greatly appreciated [2]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Amateur use of Tarot Cards, Angst, Bittersweet sorta vibes, Gen, Roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-06-15 08:37:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15409137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilaclavenders/pseuds/lilaclavenders
Summary: Phichit rolls his eyes. "You'll either lead yourself into a life, free from the constraints of whatever it is that's trapping you right now or...""Or?"(Yuuri doesn't know what's next for him; Phichit doesn't know either, since Yuuri won't tell him anything.)





	to be hopeless or not to be

**Author's Note:**

> this is sort of based on real events - i do not know how the fuck to read tarot cards, but i do know how to play a few chords on guitar so
> 
> this is not the beginning or the ending of the series i've planned? omg i have no idea what's happening 
> 
> (title from greatly appreciated - lake)

* * *

  
A pack of tarot cards lay idly on his roommate's windowsill; Yuuri picks them up as an easy way to pass the time, an easy way to procrastinate confronting the elephant in the room.

Phichit laughs a little and says, "I bought them in a market last year, when I saw Leo and Guang-hong."

Pausing to gaze at how strangely glossy the cards are, Yuuri off-handedly asks, "Do think you could tell me my future?" He's met by an inquisitive stare, but smiles nonetheless, seemingly disaffected. "If you want!" He uneasily adds, nervously chuckling, "Just some fun."

"Alright," Phichit replies, a smile easily gracing his face. "Give them after you've shuffled them," he says gently.

The cards are heavy and are difficult to shuffle without dropping any on Phichit's bed. Yuuri pretends to make a big deal out of shuffling them meticulously, to distract himself; Phichit huffs, impatient, but laughs all the same.

Of course, whatever Yuuri sees after the five of pentacles just flies over his head until the end.

"Oh," Phichit says. "Your future will end up with you chasing after something that could end up in one of two ways."

Yuuri raises an eyebrow, intrigued. "Elaborate?" He pushes his glasses back up as he looks down at the cards.

Phichit rolls his eyes and continues, "You'll either lead yourself into a life free, from the constraints of whatever it is that's trapping you right now or..."

"Or?"

"Or you'll fall if you go about it the wrong way, perhaps with some recklessness." Phichit solemnly declares, staring deep into Yuuri's eyes. "Well, it's the fool card - what did you expect, fool?"

They laugh.

Between gasps of laughter, Yuuri asks, "When on earth have I ever been reckless?"

Phichit's bubbly voice laughs with her body in response. "I don't know! It's kinda what it says in the booklet the cards came with!"

Of course, Yuuri does know that he's very reckless in the sense that he'll immediately think the worst of any situation that's handed to him, for immediate self-sabotage. It's inevitable that he would wander helplessly down a path he's been skipping down, with no restraints, for as long as he could remember. His path was made for one person only, and it should stay that way.

The laughter dies down and Yuuri picks up the old, dusty guitar that came with the dorm, abandoning the tarot cards. He needs something to obstruct the close proximity between him and his roommate, after feeling this exposed.

Phichit knows he couldn't compete with Yuuri's perceptiveness or thought process on a good day, but as oblivious as the latter is, the former would definitely pride himself on knowing a thing or two about his best friend's behaviours, without being told.

"Is this about what happened last night?" Phichit cautiously asks, gauging for a reaction from the person opposite him.

The guitar responds back with some sort of incomplete arpeggio as Yuuri shrugs, seemingly indifferent. He stares out of the window, as if he's scrutinising the moon and not whether he'll be able to keep his heart out of his chest in the next few minutes.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Yuuri shoots him a look that screams a hundred and one insults, but instead replies with, "I've already talked about it, there's nothing new to say, no matter how many times you talk about it." Of course, Yuuri can smile just as easily Phichit can - doesn't mean he means it, though.

Phichit places the tarot cards back onto the windowsill, humming in thought. "But you must be feeling different since then? Are you still angry?"

"I'm not even angry about her anymore," Yuuri sighs, resigned to this newfound fact. He looks around Phichit's colourful room, avoiding eye contact awkwardly and his hands abandon the guitar. He mutters, "And you're not my therapist."

"Are you still angry though?" Phichit cautiously presses, ignoring any blatant attempts to change the subject - He knows Yuuri will try to weather through whatever hurricane he's made out of himself. 

"Sure I am," Yuuri laughs.

"No!" Phichit shakes his head in slight frustration. "I know you're angry at yourself- You always are! You know you can't blame yourself for everything that happens to you and everyone else."

Yuuri shrugs and says, "If I come up with a reason why, then it's plausible." He walks off. "I'll make dinner, alright?"

"Alright," Phichit chirps. "But we're not done talking about this!"

Yuuri smiles, all tight lipped and lying through forced his eyes' crows feet. He traps his hands inside his sleeves, his fingernails embedding crescent moons on his palms. "Sure, Phi."

 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks, idk what's next or what the heck i'm gonna do
> 
> also i don't have a beta so a big old yikes


End file.
